The art of procrastination

I have come to the conclusion that I have mastered the art of procrastination. It has taken me nearly twenty years to master this fine art. I have surfed the net, played with the dogs, exercised, went shopping and even cleaned the house in order to put off writing papers. Take this morning for example, I woke up at 6:30am when Andy got up for work. I turned on the morning news, checked my email, read the Toledo Blade online and got breakfast. After eating, I calculated discussion grades and read a couple of blogs. Now, I am writing on my blog and trying to decide to if I should shower, work on a paper and then go for a walk or shower and go for a walk.

I only have three papers to finish my work for the semester. Two of them I have started and need to finish. The third one is a ten page review on War and Peace that I have not started yet. Once I finish my papers, I have tons of exciting wedding stuff to do such as assemble centerpieces. I guess I should stop contemplating what I am going to do and just do it. However, Rachael Ray just came on and I am addicted to her show. Which should I chose: television or writing papers? That is the question of the day.

Message to the Media: Leave the Hokies Alone

Now that classes are back in session after the tragic events at Virgina Tech, I would like to beg the media to please leave the campus and let the students deal with what has happened as a community. They are heading back to classes and need the time away from the glare of the media in order to focus on their studies and allow time for the grieving process.

It would also be nice if the media resisted giving anymore attention to the killer of this murderous rampage. By airing his video time and time again, the media is giving him the attention that he so craved. It would be better for the media to focus on the lives of the victims and not the killer.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Hokies, their families and friends. Peace.

Virgina Tech Shooting

It is a sad day in this country when a gunman can walk into classrooms and dormitories and go on a shooting rampage. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of the victims who lost their lives and for those who were wounded.

I don't know why this happened. We may never know why. These acts of violence never make sense. This can happen anywhere at anytime.

More thoughts to come later on this tragic event.

Rant about "When are you going to have children?" question

Many people over the past year have asked me when we are going to have children. It is getting to the point that it really irritates me. I am going to explain why having children will not be that easy for Andy and me. I have two health conditions that will make conceiving a child and staying pregnant very complicated. The health conditions or rather diseases that I have are Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Compound Heterozygous Mthfr A1298 mutations and Factor VIII clotting factors (blood clotting issues).

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2003. It is an endocrinal disorder that is linked to Insulin Resistance (pre-diabetic). The Insulin Resistance causes my ovaries to produce testosterone instead of estrogen which leads to lack of ovulation, excessive hair growth, acne, depression, excessive weight gain, diabetes, and many other symptoms which vary from woman to woman, hence the syndrome definition part of the disease. I have a combination of the symptoms. If I can't ovulate on my own, I will have to use fertility drugs which then put my body at risk for ovarian cancer (which there is already an increased risk of due to having PCOS) and our health insurance will not cover so its very expensive.

My clotting factors will make it difficult to carry a pregnancy to full-term once I have conceived. In order to maintain a pregnancy, I will have to give myself injections of heparin in the stomach so that I reduce the risk of miscarriage. The heparin should be covered by insurance. However, even with the heparin there is no guarantee that I will be able to get pregnant. It it happens, it happens. I just wish people would stop asking me because the added pressure to reproduce does not help me. I want a family more than anything, but that may or may not happen due to the above factors.

America's obsession with celebrity

Oprah Winfrey had an interesting show on America's obsession with celebrities on Friday. Oprah quoted the American Journalism Review that "Martha Stewart's legal troubles received five times as much coverage on network news as the genocide in Darfur." (Oprah website) "The Project for Excellence in Journalism claims that in the first few days after Anna Nicole Smith's death, her story consumed 50 percent of cable news airtime-more than the Super Bowl or the war in Iraq." (Oprah website) It is amazing that such devastating events as the genocide in Darfur receive so little air time. I also saw on another television program that more people could identify American Idol contestants than the candidates running for the President of the United States.

I will admit that I am somewhat obsessed with celebrities as I read Perez Hilton (www.perezhilton.com) everyday just to keep up with what is going on in Hollywood. I am a pop culture addict. However, I do read the newspaper everyday and several online news sources in addition to the evening news. I can actually identify all the candidates running for President and can only identify one contestant from American Idol this year. I also watch Dancing With The Stars every week and participate in voting. I view this as a way to de-stress myself from the work of each day and to give my brain the rest that it needs from being a historian and teacher.

I find it sad that more people are not aware of what is going on in the world and that my students can name all of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's children then can name the current Speaker of the US House of Representatives. Many of my students vote to keep Sanjaya on American Idol every week than vote for President of the United States. I hope that as this generation gets older, they become more aware of what is really going on in the world such as Darfur, AIDS in Africa, the lack of health care in America and other important events than the fifth sequel of Fast and Furious.

Random Thoughts

These past few weeks I have been contemplating about my professional life and even my personal life to some extent. On the professional front, I wondered if I should complete my doctorate and if I did, what I could do with it if I am not able to obtain a tenure track position. After much thought, consideration, and discussion with my wonderful husband Andy, I was able to take a decision. We decided that I have come this far and that I should complete what I had set out to do in 2002 when I began my graduate studies at the University of Toledo.

We made this decision because I have put a lot of time and effort into this endeavor already. Andy pointed out that if I do not get a tenure track position right away there are things that I can do with my degree while on the job market. There may be opportunities available in the future that I may not be aware of at this moment. I can also teach at private secondary schools, community colleges and as VAP (visiting assistant professor) at local colleges and universities in Southeast Michigan, Northeast Indiana, and Northwest Ohio. If I can continue to get publications and teaching experience this will help my CV tremendously and increase my chances on the job market of obtaining a position. If I get the Fulbright Fellowship, that will also boost my chances as well as that is coveted fellowship in academia. I just need to stay motivated and believe in myself that I can do this and that I was born to be both a teacher and historian.

I would discuss the personal front, which is about when to have children, but I feel that is a private conversation that should remain between Andy and me. However, it is a difficult decision to make because you will never be in the greatest financial or professional position to have them because by the time that you wait for those moments in your life to be just right, you may be too old to have the family that you have always wanted. I know that I can have both, I just need to remind myself to just worry about today and what may or may not happen in the future.

Wedding 1 month and 4 days away

It is hard to believe that the wedding is only one month and 4days away. It seems like only yesterday that we first got engaged and were trying to figure out what kind of wedding that we wanted to have. Since then, we have gotten married at the courthouse due to fellowship applications and have been able to save enough in order to pay for the wedding, without having to go into debt for it. We are getting married again, this time in a religious ceremony in front of all of our family and friends on Saturday, May 5.

Yesterday, Andy's aunts, his sister, and his sister-in-law gave us a bridal shower. I was able to meet some of his distant cousins and friends of the family that I had not had the chance to meet yet. It was great being able to see everyone and we were able to get some of the items that we needed such as flatware as what we have is mismatched and has seen better days. We also received some gift cards to Target which we are going to put towards the Dyson vacuum that we would like to get. The Dyson is an awesome vacuum that is the only type that I have seen that sucks up all kinds of dog hair (we have two dogs) and is best for those who have allergies (which is me) in removing allergens that are found in carpets.

Overall, I am ready for the wedding to be over with and for us to be on our honeymoon. We are going to Charleston SC and the Outer Banks in NC for our first vacation away from the Midwest. I am looking forward to being able to relax and spend some time with my husband without any interruptions from everyday life. Time sure does fly by. By the way, if you are reading this blog, I am in need of a job for the summer. If you know of anyone hiring, please let me know as I would greatly appreciate it.

I have a real job

Many people, especially some members of my family do not believe that I have a real job. They believe that being a graduate student is not productive and that I am not a contributing member of the society because I do not have a real job. I can see why some would come to this conclusion because they do not understand the work that I do as a graduate student and the fact that I do not have a set schedule with defined hours of when I begin and end my work.

I would like to challenge that perception that some people may have. My job as a graduate student is year round. I do not have any defined work hours, as my work never stops. Since I am working on my doctorate in history, I will have three rounds of exams to take in addition to my foreign language requirement and my dissertation. The best time to study for these exams is during the summer break when I am not taking classes. The first exam that I will have to take are my comprehensives. Comprehensives are two eight hour days of answering questions that cover Modern European history from 1600 to present day. I will be tested on the facts and the various schools of historical interpretation on topics such as Absolutism, French Revolution, Congress of Vienna, Liberalism, Nationalism, World War I, World War II, and the Cold War. Each answer has to include the facts, the names of historians and their works. This is not an easy task to remember and requires a lot of hard work and time on my part to master.

In addition to preparing for my doctoral exams, I take a full load of classes and either teach my own independent course or assist a professor with one of their classes. Last semester I assisted a professor with a class of 275 students with 3 graduate assistants. When this class had either essay exams or papers to grade in addition to weekly online discussions over course material, it consumes a lot of my time. But the time is well worth it as it contributes to my development to be both a good teacher and historian.

Some of the members of my family do not understand about job searches and academia. Some people believe that it will be extremely easy for me to get a job teaching history at the University of Toledo or other local colleges when I graduate. They do not understand that in reality, it does not work that way. I will have to go wherever a job is offered, whether it be in another country or in other states in this country. The academic job market is extremely competitive with a plethora of PhDs and few jobs. I am optimistic that if I market myself as a historian of the world who can teach a wide array of courses at a small liberal arts college or community college, that I will be ultimately successful in my quest.

I am not going to school to further delay being in the real world. I am earning a degree because I desire a career as both a historian and teacher. I am a contributing member of society who receives a paycheck for my work as a graduate student. I also work a non academic job in the summer in order to help make ends meet since I do not get paid for my academic job during the summer.

This was my first post. Thanks for reading.